Peter Cavanaugh (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
pete_cavanaugh) wrote2008-12-14 04:33 pm
pete_cavanaugh) wrote2008-12-14 04:33 pm
Nothing in particular
[private]
I never write in this thing so why do I suddenly feel compelled to put something down about Kory?
My birthday was a couple of days ago and I was lucky enough to have a couple of surprises. One was Will - more than a surprise, really, considering how busy he's been with his life - and the other was, well, this nice guy I've met. I'm not going to commit too much of this entry to him until I see how things go.But he could be someone I want to see on more than casual basis.
It was this latter surprise that got me thinking about Kory. He would help me celebrate in a similar fashion. (Before Will met Orlando, he would do it, too, but neither of them felt quite this...festive. Yes, that's a good way to describe it. Exciting, cheerful, fun and full of happy shouting.) I haven't really stopped long enough since he died to think about how much I miss him. It's little things on some days that make me think about him, big things on others. Will moved into that space so quickly (and it was such a relief when he did) it was as if I hadn't lost him. I've loved Will forever, so it's always been easy for me to not think of anyone else that way. Kory got to me, though. He got past that obsession I had with my best friend. For the first time, I think someone else might be. Might is the key word here, Pete. Remember that. Don't get sucked into thinking a physical attraction means more to anyone than it really does.
Will, Kory, whoever. I think I'm feeling guilty that I never really mourned Kory before moving on and here I go again thinking I might be doing it again. And there's always the chance Will is going to come back to me one day. I'm a fool for holding onto that hope, but I don't think I'll ever stop. Unless
I need to stop this before I make myself crazy and screw up a fun thing by thinking serious things about it.
I never write in this thing so why do I suddenly feel compelled to put something down about Kory?
My birthday was a couple of days ago and I was lucky enough to have a couple of surprises. One was Will - more than a surprise, really, considering how busy he's been with his life - and the other was, well, this nice guy I've met. I'm not going to commit too much of this entry to him until I see how things go.
It was this latter surprise that got me thinking about Kory. He would help me celebrate in a similar fashion. (Before Will met Orlando, he would do it, too, but neither of them felt quite this...festive. Yes, that's a good way to describe it. Exciting, cheerful, fun and full of happy shouting.) I haven't really stopped long enough since he died to think about how much I miss him. It's little things on some days that make me think about him, big things on others. Will moved into that space so quickly (and it was such a relief when he did) it was as if I hadn't lost him. I've loved Will forever, so it's always been easy for me to not think of anyone else that way. Kory got to me, though. He got past that obsession I had with my best friend. For the first time, I think someone else might be. Might is the key word here, Pete. Remember that. Don't get sucked into thinking a physical attraction means more to anyone than it really does.
Will, Kory, whoever. I think I'm feeling guilty that I never really mourned Kory before moving on and here I go again thinking I might be doing it again. And there's always the chance Will is going to come back to me one day. I'm a fool for holding onto that hope, but I don't think I'll ever stop. Unless
I need to stop this before I make myself crazy and screw up a fun thing by thinking serious things about it.